Economic Models Explained with cows:
Socialism: You have 2 cows, and You Give one to your neighbor
Communism: You have 2 cows. Both The State Takes and Gives You Some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State Takes Some Both and sells you milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISE: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire onthe income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to takeharmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force theother toproduce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them toyour publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by yourbrother-in-law at the bank,then execute a debt/equity swap with an associatedgeneral offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemptionfor fivecows. The milk rights of the six cows is transferred via an intermediaryto a Cayman Island Companysecretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listedcompany. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with anoption on one more.Sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving youwith nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise ariot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they areone-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so theylive for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn youhave five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. Youcount themagain and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milkingthem. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported otherwise.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out ofyou andinvade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you arepart of a Democracy.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks veryattractive
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